LaveticusPrime

Meg: You're a smart feller, dad.
Peter: And you're a fart smeller, meg.
(grabs megs head and forces it down to his butt and lets loose one of his insane farts)

Kind of a gross zinger this time but I have to admit it had me rolling for a couple of minutes

serena75

Great topic! I'll give this a try.

Supernatural 3x12 Jus in Bello

Special Agent Hendriksson wakes up after he had been possessed by a demon.
Sam: "Hendriksson. Hey... is it you in there?"
Hendriksson: "I... I shot the sheriff"
Pause... and
Dean: "But you didn't shot the deputy"

I just saw this episode again, and had forgotten about that. It made me laugh.
The look on Sam's face is just priceless.
Watch it here, if you want to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nu7oUQbOZw

LaveticusPrime

lol. Nice one. That one cracked me up too. One of Dean and Sam`s many gems.  

angel17halo

Sebastian is Lois' date


Sebastian: Have you ever had your palms read?
Lois Lane: I don't do too well with fortune tellers. The last one I went to see told me that I was destined to fall for a guy who flies a lot and likes to wear tights. So, I'm just waiting for my cross-dressing pilot to make his landing.



[ Last edited by angel17halo at 11-25-2008 08:44 ]

bala

Walter: Uh oh.
Olivia: What?
Walter: I just got an erection. Oh, fear not, it's nothing to do with your state of undress. I think I simply need to urinate.
Olivia: That's good to know.

bala

Harriet: Oh, I see, if I do a good job house training a pet then you may consider me for the mother of your child?
Bud:    No.
Harriet: No ?!

Harriet: It's like I'm dating a knight in shining armor.
Mac:     Oh and that's a bad thing?
Harriet: You ever tried to make love to a man wearing an armor?
Mac:     Does football equipment count ?

Harriet: This dress makes me look fat!
Bud:      Honey, you're pregnant, you're supposed to look fat.
Harriet: How fat am I supposed to look, Bud? Like a station wagon, a blimp, Mt. Washington, what?

angel-87

5x18
SHEPARD to RONON:  Ok Chewie, start tracking.



WOOLSEY:  Is he awake yet?

SHEPPARD:  No, he's in a coma.

McKAY:  It's a light coma. They figure he should recover, barring any complications.

bala

Amanda: Oh, poor baby. Come here. (singing) Hush little homo don't you cry, Mandy's gonna steal you a prada tie.
Marc: Ok, nice, but don't touch the hair, it's just how I like it.

bala

Woody: I hope your day is going better than mine.
Garret: Does your day involve illegally procured sperm.
Woody: You win

Macy: You can't just pass this man's sperm around like it's candy.

spratt89

Ross: [receiving his Christmas gift] You got me a cola drink.
Chandler: And a LEMON LIME.
Ross: You shouldn't have. I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Joey: And last but not least.
[Monica receives her gift]
Joey: They're RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE.

Feralbreeze

I'm currently watching heroes season 3 now and it was kinda funny in Episode 10 at 08min:45 where Hiro with Ando got to Parkman and hiro was jumping cause he wanted to pee and parkman said "Oh it's right over there". And then Daphne looked to his way and said "We all gonna die". It's not a comedy series of course but still it makes me laugh some times in scenes with HIRO.

kwargalla

i find a lot of times it's the drama's that give you the real good zingers cause your either not expecting them or cause it's right around a tense moment that needs a comedic break.  So keep sharing any more that make you laugh while watching hero's

spratt89

Monica: All right! All right. I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk.
Chandler: We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.
Monica: I was in too much pain.
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Chandler: And then Joey remembered something.
Joey: I'd seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... Ewwww! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!
Monica: You can't say that! You don't know! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I, I tried, but I, I couldn't... bend that way

spratt89

Chandler: I bumped into Joanna yesterday.
Rachel: My boss Joanna? That must have been awkward.
Chandler: Well no, she actually asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Rachel: You didn't say yes to this, did you?
Chandler: No, no!
Joanna: (Coming out from the bathroom) Good morning, Rachel.
Chandler: Well, not at first!

codebreaker

Max emerges from the bathroom to find Kendra’s clothes draped all over her motorcycle and said
Kendra, this is a motorcycle. Its sole reason for being is to go fast, very fast, not for you to use as a clothesline. Now, make no mistake. I love you as a friend and a roommate, but I love my motorcycle more. Stay away from the bike, okay?

and i liked the next bit of dialog

(A policeman bursts through the front door.)

POLICEMAN: Ladies.

MAX: Morning, Walter. What’s the good word?

WALTER: Oh, just doing my part to keep the squatter situation from getting out of hand.

MAX: Coffee?

WALTER: Read my mind. You notice any trespassers around here?

MAX : Gosh...no.

(Kendra hands Walter an envelope full of money. He counts it and pockets it.)

WALTER (into his radio): Seventh floor vacant and secure.

VOICE ON RADIO: Roger that.

WALTER: Enjoy your day. (Leaves)

KENDRA: What’s with you? Every week this scumbag puts the squeeze on us and every week you roll out the welcome wagon like he’s family.

MAX: Just thought maybe he’d like some coffee with his saliva.

(Max acts like she’s spitting into an imaginary cup.)

KENDRA: You didn’t.

MAX: Every week. (They laugh)

funny-girl101

Nora: Where did they hide the booze? Tell me, really, I'm not joking.
Saul: Nora, if I knew where it was I'd be drunk by now

waterlilybarb

LOL!  Good one.   I've had similar sentiments myself on occasion - and I barely drink at all.

spratt89

Chandler: So, uh, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do. All of them had us making out.
Chandler: Oh, it's a good thing, actually. Because, uh, he used to make me rehearse with him

spratt89

Phoebe: Yeah... And what a great way to say "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!!"
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?

imarielle626

Quote:

Originally posted by bala at 11-16-2008 16:00  
Meredith (to Derek): I need you to tell Mark to keep his little Sloan out of little Grey.

This was a funny line, but what made it even funnier was when Derek relayed the message to Sloan and his response was: "little Sloan? No BIG Sloan."